I Want To Be Big

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Incredible Indelible 2010

This year has been wondrous, busy, fulfillling, tear-jerking and oh-so-fast, oh and did I say wonderful? Isn't it surprising that it's already Christmas time again? I remember last March anticipating spring so I could plant flowers. It took forever to get here. And when it came, I didn't think I'd have enough time to enjoy summer, what with work getting in the way and all the stuff to be done around the property. Kevin and I have been here three years now (and then some), we have accomplished quite a bit; there was no garage when we bought our little place and now we have one. Half of the circular driveway was graveled, we planted quaking aspen trees in the front lining one side of the drive and painted the house two summers ago. Kevin built an apsen mound in the back yard, then we put in a small and beautifully refreshing lawn out there, and last year the coup de gras; a combination swing set/climbing wall/slide for our 4 and 3 year old grandsons, Evan and Eric.
When the boys saw the set for the first time, Evan in all his innocent wonder, exclaimed, "Beema, A PARK!" Kevin aptly named it Fort EvEr and planted a gigantic, waving black pirate flag to top it off. We also have a huge dirt mound that the little guys just can't stay away from. And that's great cuz that's what our house is for. I'm not sure who has more fun; the boys or us. It seems there is something new for them to experience every time they visit.

But because this seemed like such a science fiction year, I wanted it to be packed with activity, adventures and stories to tell.

We spent a lot more time out in the kayaks this season and managed to get a few family members involved in our fun. Early summer brought together my brother and sister-in-law Pat and Cathie and my daughter Sara and the boys at the same time. We missed having Sara's husband, Bret and wish he could have come but work kept him from our reunion. He'll be rewarded for this efforts in the future.

The weather was warm and hot, we put up the kiddie pool for the tykes while we grown ups sat on the lawn chairs sniffing barbecue and sipping some beer or wine. Ahhh, this is the American dream, isn't it? One of the days we all went out to Elk Lake and this time I managed to get Sara, Evan and Eric in the kayaks, the boys loved it! The next one in was Pat and he did fantastic; didn't tip the kayak or get wet, good job Big Brother! Then Cathie said she wasn't going to be outdone by the toddlers so on went the life jacket and into the bright red kayak she went. A fantastic culmination for the whole family, we missed Kevin on that outing, too, since he had to work also.

All the family left and it seemed awfully quiet and still after that. Kevin and I filled that time with more outdoor day trips and travels.

When September arrived, I took that month out with a bang by taking Sara, Evan and Eric on a road trip to Butte, Montana where my son Michael is currently living--that's a 13 hour drive one way; the boys were wonderful little travelers! Those in-vehicle tv's are great. Along the way, we were invited to stay a night at a long time girlfriends' house so she could meet her "adopted nephews". My daughter, my son and I have not been together at the same time in 13 years and Michael had never met Eric so this is where the tears came in. Our stay at the Best Western was perfect since school in that area was already in session and we practically had the whole place to ourselves. Sara put the boys in that gigantic swimming pool, they looked so small! By the second day and wearing arm floaties, those rascals were like fish. The three of us would take turns playing with them and visiting the hot tub. We visited some sights wthere in Butte; the mining area--derricks all over the place in that town--the pizza place with it's own merry go round, a gigantic park with swings and slides for the kids. And then Mike took us to the cemetery to see Evel Knievels' gravesite. I had forgotten he was resting there. What a wonderful closing event to the year of Two Thousand and Ten. I packed a lot into a short amount of time and I am so glad I did!

This Christmas Kevin and I will head over the mountain to Portland to share it with mom Dorothy and dad Bill and Bret and Sara's family. Maybe next year Michael will be over this way and our family will be complete.

Thank you Father in heaven for all of Your blessings this year. I have had so many. Even the trials are good lessons and make me appreciate the good times.

May God bless you and keep you safe and strong in the coming year.

Teddy Bear Lost; Teddy Bear Coming Home!

We all remember that special and very loved companion we had when we were little. Mine was my blanket, Sara had "Pinky"-- a little pink and white teddy bear she received as a gift in second grade.

Mike's favorite was a blue and white quilted blanket that an old friend of mine had made. And we all remember when the moment came that we put them away as keepsakes, at least the ones that survived our loving.

Some of these best friends have led rather interesting lives while others have lived out their retirement on a dusty shelf or a cobwebbed corner of our memories. Pinky went through all the trips to the hospital with Sara when she was diagnosed with cancer and even had her own id bracelet. And Pinky even made it to Navy boot camp.

This story is about Pinky's son, Teddy. And Teddy belongs to Evan, Sara's little boy.

Now Teddy was a gift to Evan from Saras' father when Evan was only nine days old. They have been together every day ever since, lifelong buddies and confidants. Well, let me amend that every day part and tell the beginning tales of Teddys' Adventures.

The first one began at the Portland Zoo when Bret, Sara, Evan and Eric had a family day there.

They strolled past the elephants, they cruised past the polar bears, Conrad and Tasul. There was a wonderful interaction between the boys and the orangutan when all three were face to face, eyeball to eyeball at the window. It was shortly after that when Teddys' disappearance was noticed. "Where's Teddy?' one parent asked. "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching Teddy"...and the search began. I don't know how the rest of the visit went with Evan and Eric and all the animals, I wasn't there, I just heard the story afterwards.

Mommy was heartsick for Evan, his little heart was so sad and the tears flowed and ran. How do you explain to a 3 year old what "gone" and "lost" mean?

Mommy called the Portland Zoo and reported a lost Teddy bear with this description:

Bobbly head, brown 'fur' well-worn and loved, black eyes and answers to "Teddy". Little boy is heartbroken without his buddy.

It wasn't long before a return call from the zoo announced that Teddy had been found! He would be on his way home via U.S. Mail very soon.

Three weeks ago, Teddy went MIA again. This time, Evan had gone to spend the weekend with PeaPaw (Brets' dad) for a little one-on-one time. Everywhere that Evan goes, Teddy goes, too.

Time comes and Evan has returned home, only there is no Teddy. Evan is beside himself and once again the tears flow and come and Evan's little heart is sad, he was convinced that "the Indians took him and burned him" (this from the OLD Peter Pan movie!). No no, mommy said to him, he's trying to come home, Evan. There was concern for Teddy that his "little feet will be dirty and sore from walking home, Mommy, he doesn't have shoes!" Oh my heartstrings are just breaking here.

I am happy to announce that Teddy's adventures have been halted once more and again, he is coming home via U.S. Mail. It seems that PeaPaw finally found Teddy and he's sending him home, although at this moment, Evan seems to think the Tooth Fairy had him and is now mailing him home.

I can't tell you the feelings I've had for the last three weeks for Evan, for Teddy and for Mommy.

This Teddy meant as much to Sara as he did to Evan; he was her fathers' first gift and her heart hurt for her little boy as well. My heart hurt for all of them. Grandma's don't die, they just get sappier.

So today when I got the call that Teddy was coming home, I cried tears of joy for that reunion!

I was able to speak with Evan on the phone today and tell him how happy I was for him and that I bet his little heart was happy now. "My heart is very happy, Beema!!" Maybe there will be a little welcome home party for Teddy the Adventurer!

Squeezing In The Outdoors

Indian summer and I'm lovin' it. Two weeks ago it was gray and rainy. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy all kinds of weather for different reasons. After a long and very fruitful summer of events, I was getting a little bit pooped. Gray skies and rain made the desire for hot tea, pj days and a bright orange comfy blanket deepen, along with a great tv day.

But last week dawned with spectacular sunshiny days and the ache to get away from work to enjoy the outdoors at least once more before the white stuff starts to fall.

Kevin and I were originally headed for a small lake named Little Cultus Lake, which we did stop at. But the kayak call was minimal. Pretty, out there, no big boats and lovely. Then we thought we'd check out some other lakes, Irish Lake and Taylor Lake that were supposed to be just a few more miles ahead. On a straight away, a few miles flies by in minutes, on a 4x4 Jeep road, it takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r!! Head-banging, kidney-jolting and neck-wrenching is more like it. For thirty minutes. And was it worth it? Ohhhh yessss! There were no kayaks on this day but the call within me was bursting, I so wanted to get on top of that water and scout the edges for whatever; foliage, critters, birds, a fantastic photo, maybe even a fish skirting underneath me. As it was, we simply enjoyed the peace and quiet. If it weren't for forest service burning, it would have been absolutely perfect. But hey, we all have to get along. There were campgrounds way up there and since it is after Labor Day, kids are back in school, we only came across a few cars. Hunters were setting up camp for the opening day of deer season. We stopped and chatted with a few who were just out walking, rifles slung over their shoulders. You see, we do have mountain lion (open season all year) and black bears in the area. It's just smart unless you want to do a Timothy Treadwell. And even then, he ended up calling for help.

We finally found a great spot to have a tail gate lunch of egg salad sandwiches, our munching being the loudest things we could hear. Every now and then a Douglas squirrel would scold an intruder, a dipping merganzer would call out a hello to a companion or a helicopter-sized blue dragon fly would flit by our noses. Even though there was a prescribed burn going on, it wasn't enough to hide the scent of the forest or fog the beauty of our surroundings. It was refreshing.

And yes, we will stuff the kayaks in the back of the truck and christen those lakes next year.

2010 Family Reunion

The "Girls' Road Trip of 2010" came to a climactic finish. I think we did rather well considering we were in a small vehicle with a 2 year old and a 4 year old coming and going for almost 15 hours both ways. And the fact that mother and daughter were together for six days, everyone survived and we still love each other and we're still on speaking terms; that is a successful adventure!
I had been thinking about this trip for a couple of months so no matter what occurred, I was going, it was important to me to keep family ties together. Just a short while ago Sara had asked if she could come along if the timing were right for all of us. "Of course I would love to have you and the boys come!" Thus the planning began for the reunion of Mom, Mike and Sara--the three of us not having been together at the same time for almost 13 years. Having Evan and Eric with us was simply the icing on the cake.

On the 31st of August, I drove over to Corvallis, Oregon and left my car with Bret so he'd have a vehicle if he needed one. Oh and Bret--thanks for loaning me your little family for the week! I know you missed them and it was terribly quiet around the homestead!

Then on the 1st of September, we headed out of Corvallis at 4:13 a.m towards Butte, Montana. When Sara crept into the boys' room to get them up for the trip, Evan popped up wide awake with, "Are we going to see Uncle Mike???" The truck had been loaded the night before so all we had to do was get dressed, brush our hair, toss the boys in their car seats (still in pajamas), say our goodbyes to Bret and hit the road. Shortly after hitting the highway we just HAD to get some coffee, makes the trip a little more tolerable. I think I've now tasted a fair share of interesting flavors other than my favorite hazelnut latte; toasted marshmallow and then a coconut something or other. Sara was the pilot and grandma was the dropped teddy bear picker upper, blanket fixer and drink cup filler/retriever. Sara's little truck had one of those new modern tvs that pops down from the ceiling (like airplanes) and that was surely a saving grace for the little guys. Sara did play a few "I see something blue" games with Evan. All in all, the boys traveled very well.

We got into Corvallis, Montana that evening around 7:00 p.m. and stayed with my old co-worker and girlfriend, Judy. I've known her since Sara was ten years old...hmmm, that's 18 years now. Thanks, Judy, for letting us spend a night at your place and you finally were able to meet the real kids, they are now more than a picture on your refrigerator! Just before that, we stopped at a restaurant for dinner and were able to have two friends of ours stop in to see us as well. Talk about squeezing in the opportunities!

Thursday morning (9-2-10) we were in Butte by 10:00 a.m. to pick up Michael. Sara had not seen him in 4 years and how they hugged! It warmed this moms' heart to watch that. "Uncle Mike! Uncle Mike!" was hollered in unison when Michael leaned in and finally met his nephews!

Well, he had met Evan when Evan was a tiny baby but he had never seen Eric. Oh how these few moments had made the long way so very worthwhile. I had booked a room for all of us at the Best Western downtown and we headed off for three days of family fun!

Our adventure included a picnic at a fantastic park where the little guys (and the big kids, too) could ride swings, go down slides and roll down a big hill. When we returned to the hotel, we made good use of the indoor swimming pool; the boys loved the water but hung around the steps the first day. By the second day they were wearing their arm floaties and paddling off alone (adults within reach, of course). We all loved it, I hadn't been swimming in years and boy was I out of shape! Sara, Mike and I were having a ball with the kids. Our stay primarily consisted of finding the right places for all of us and we succeeded so that all of us were happy. We were able to take in the view of the Berkeley Mining Pit and read about it's history (in 1917 there was a horrible accident and fire that killed 168 miners, 11 people survived and Kevins' grandfather was one of those!) We also were able to view Evil Knievels' grave site. WHat a visit, incredibly happy just to be together.

How I would do this again. Warm fuzzy feelings. I am so greatful and thankful to God for letting all this come together without any flaws.

And oh how hard it was to leave.

Shoeless and Clueless on The Highway

I have just returned from my last road trip for the 2010 year and I have this recurring question about; Highway Shoes. Hundreds of them. Where do they come from? What was the circumstance that left them sole side up in the middle of the fast lane? And have you ever noticed it's always just ONE? Was it left on the top of the car? Were the kids playing in the backseat and one threw a shoe out the window? There was one that was purposely stuck on some outcropping on a cement center divider wall, toes up. There is no way it could have landed like that. Somebody being funny or bored or a sibling payback when the family stopped at the side of the road for a potty break?
And then it was this trip that I thought about starting a Lost and Found Shoes of Route Whatever. You know, picking them up and posting them on a website, maybe along with all those lost hubcaps you see peeking through the roadside weeds. Yeah well I have better things to do than that, really. I'd never get to where I am going if I did that. It just makes me think about them because I have never lost a shoe on a trip. These aren't little tykes' shoes, they are adult sized shoes. And I bring this up because I thought I was the only one whoever thought about them. Until Sara mentioned it on this trip. So...if there is anyone out there who has ever lost just one shoe, call me. I might have seen it on that scenic route to Butte, a hundred miles from anywhere.

Everybody Loves A Chick

What is cuter than a little bouncing chick? A fluffy, grey and white bouncing chick! Yesterday was another great kayak day and so we loaded the boats up for another adventure, this time over on Wickiup Reservoir just a few miles south of home.

Sunny skies with a few cottony clouds, a gentle breeze, snacks made earlier and our sunscreen and cameras made our trek an easy and sweet one.

We drove to an area of the reservoir that was a connecting river channel between Wickiup and another lake, a great place to begin since it was easy access with the trailer. The area held a small meadow that the Deschutes River meandered through, tall green grasses swayed in the breeze as the red winged black birds hung on for support. Kevin and I had made an attempt at paddling UP the stream and decided rather quickly to abort that idea; the current was a bit stronger than we anticipated. We let the current turn us around and then we were off. There is not a lot of vegetation alongside this portion of channel; it consisted mostly of very sandy soil or round river pebbles, the water was fairly shallow and one could see the bottom 90% of the trip. The pine trees and old aspens hung back along the ridge

line mostly, making it seem almost barren. Still, there were lots of places to pull up on a shoreline and take a brief respite. After first launch, our speed was pretty brisk for 6 or 7 hundred yards, then turned into very calm waters and easy cruising. Lots of land-side fishermen and women casting in to try their luck. We saw quite a few trout underneath us, I could have sworn they looked up and laughed at the beach casters.

The weatherman said it would be close to the 90's and I don't think he was too far off. I was glad I had brought frozen drinks from the night before. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches probably don't sound all that great but after a few hours of heat, exercise and fresh air, they tasted pretty darn good! We had pulled up on a beach where a few aspens and poplars were grouped together to make a great shaded area. And thanks to a beaver from a few years previous, we had a nice fallen tree bench to sit on.

After lunch break was over we hopped back into the kayaks, spying huge bird tracks in the sand as we trudged back down the beach. These turned out to be either a great blue heron or possibly a sand hill crane, both of which frequent the local lakes and reservoirs. "Big Bird" indeed.

Off down the far side of the smooth channel, we coasted around a point that led to a smaller, winding stream. Nooks and crannies are what make the kayaking fun, being able to go into shallow and tight areas that other watercraft cannot. We could see by looking down at the plants waving fronds that there was a strong current coming from around the bend. Paddling around the bend, the water was no deeper than one foot in some places with sharp drop offs leading to 3 and 4 feet deep. Heading around one more bend we heard the roar of a falls, this turned out to sound much bigger than it was. We couldn't paddle all the way up due to several tree stumps placed across the six foot wide creek. Kevin latched onto one of the roots of the stumps, handed his oar back to me and hauled me up next to him so we could both sit there and enjoy the sounds and the view. It wasn't a big falls, probably 2 or 3 feet high at the most, but we were the only people there, no other ugly human sounds to spoil the ear fragrance. Soon we let go, turned ourselves around and floated back out the way we came, letting the stream push and spit us back out into the lake. It was time to head back and we were in no hurry. No appointments, no weather making us fear rain or lightening. It was on the return trip that we stopped at another sandy point to beach and stretch our legs a bit. That was when I heard the distinctive sing-song of either a plover or a killdeer; both of which inhabit the areas and like to roam the waters' edge. I've seen killdeer and I think this was a plover, it was rather small and I thought it was a chick at first. But this bird began it's diversionary dance, the injured/broken wing gig to take us away from its young. That was when I began to look for the chicks and spied movement off to the left of Mother. Little gray fur balls were blowing amongst the beach grasses. They skittered and chirped to mama, all the while they were running they were staying in contact with Mother, never getting outside of earshot. These little grey and white fir balls were hardly bigger than a golf ball with legs on them! And as they would run, every two or three steps they would aim their tail in the air and bounce. I don't know how they ever get away from a predator--other than flying--if they count on their fleeing gait. Step-step-bounce-bounce a grey fluff goes through the reeds.

For those of you who are curious and smart: where did I get the photo of the plover chick if I didn't have my camera? I would like to thank Chris Thody of the Tern and Plover Conservation

Partnership (Wayne Hathaway photographer) for granting permission to use this image.

Summer Fun and Visits

When summer was first arriving here in Central Oregon (and that's how it is always described by other writers and those of note) I was pretty sure that it was going to pass me by without my having had one adventure or family get-together before fall and winter set in again.
How wonderfully wrong I was! We have had the pleasure of my daughter and grandsons' visits several times and the last one we all shared the visit with my brother and sister-in-law Cathie, who came up from Rio Vista, California. Lots of firsts at this mini family reunion and so much fun. Cathy celebrated her second year cancer free with a jump into a kayak on the water, as well as my brother Pat, the "Oh I'm not getting in one of those things" brother. Not only did they man the boats, but Sara and I did as well with each one of us hosting one of the boys. We didn't venture far from the shore line but just enough to give Evan and Eric the excitement of kayaking--they loved it! The BoyZ were so busy this time that they totally forgot about..THE MOUND. That's good, because when they come next week they'll be able to get down and dirty, jump in the pool and slide down on the park set, too. I am hoping this warm streak stays through for the next visit. Sara is going to go hiking for one of the days so the BoyZ will have Beema and Kpaw all to themselves. Or is it the other way around? Kpaw is excited to have the little guys, too, I can tell when he starts to talk like this;

"Ay, maties, we'll be walkin' the plank with ya thar if ya aren't lissnen to yar elders, arrrrghhh!"
Guess I better make sure all the swords are dull and the yard arm is broken so thar won't be no hangins.

Arrrggghhh!

Schumachers' Preserve for Tots and Critters

Here is a shot of the latest project Kevin has been working on; actually, he's been working on this one along with the other projects he's completed this year; Kevin has been quite the busy rascal!
It all began with a swing set for The BoyZ. Who are The BoyZ? Well, Evan and Eric, our favorite grandsons, of course. In anticipation of the first visit where they could actually play outside, Kevin began construction on a huge play set that consists of two swings, a slide and a 'climbing wall'. That swing set now boasts a gigantic black "Captains' Flag" (it is really a pirate flag but Evan and Eric call pirates captains and pics to follow soon).
Out on the other side of the garage is a little boys' dream; a humongous (is that big enough?) dirt mound with plastic shovels and rakes and hoes and even a big yellow Tonka truck. Their mother tells me that long before they pull up into the driveway, Evan and Eric are talking about "playing in the dirt" and going to the park at Kpaw's and Beema's house. It has been so much fun to show the little guys something new every time they come to visit. The last visit Kpaw had a little three-ring pool set up and ready to go. When they boys came in the house, I took Evan over to the dining room window and told him to look outside. "Ohhhhh! A pool, Beema!! It's a pool for me!" The exclamations, the excitement, the absolute happiness of a 3 and 4 year old are priceless joys.
And this is my opportunity to save and savor all of that.
Now, back to our little chippie there. We seem to have two sizes; large and TINY. The big guy is probably about as big as a cell phone and the TINY guy, who's name now is Tiger, is half that size. They scoot and scamper all about the front deck and all over the property looking for the seeds and peanuts that Kevin puts out for the critters. Tiger has burrowed his way under the house somehow and made himself a little home over in the master bedroom corner. I guess we'll leave him there as long as he doesn't chew himself into the house, he's rather warm and protected where he is.
So yesterday as I was standing on the front deck with Kevin, he was enticing Tiger up close by rattling a peanut. Tiger wasted no time coming in for a treat that is almost as big as he is. I stood very still as he came up and took that peanut right out of Kevin's hand, it was just too cute. And off he ran, rattling down the stairs to his secret lair to stash another prize.
Happy summer!

Mothers Day

Mothers Day.

Brings lots of thoughts and lots of memories and a lesson or two...

I learned a long time ago how unimportant many of the days are that society deems crucial to celebrate. When I became a Navy bride in the mid '70's, I learned quickly to appreciate the days and the times I had WHEN I had them. I learned in my first year of Navy bride hood that holidays like Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving only existed on the calendar. My very first year of marriage there was only my father and me and having just lost my mother eleven days after my wedding, dad and I found that having each other was what counted.
At my age now I don't remember a lot about that time but I do know that where I stand today on the importance of family was outlined in June of 1975.
My husband-to-be came home to California from the Virginia coast shortly before he was to leave on an 8 month Med. cruise. In a two month time span I managed to put together a small wedding event. We were married in the backyard of my childhood home, primarily because my mother couldn't travel anywhere. We stood underneath the tree I had climbed since I was 8 years old and said our "I do's" after dad walked me across the back patio deck that he had built a few years prior. The gathering was small with a few of my cherished friends and family.
We spirited away on our honeymoon (a cabin at Soda Springs donated by one of my best friends' father--thank you Debbie and Colonel Wiley!) and upon our return it was the next day that mom passed away, on my 21st birthday. The day after that my husband left for his long cruise.
I remember simply daily survival and numbness, I don't remember Thanksgiving. I couldn't tell you what we did. I just remember that having my dad around was pretty special.
Christmas came and that brought my husband home as well.
The years went on and as they did holidays would coincide with a mini-cruise, duty nights on the ship or just plain work. The Gub'ment stops for no personal celebrations. We were fortunate enough for daddy to be available when our two children were born; although there was a tentative duty trip for daddy when Number 2 was to arrive. Daddy was headed out for a recruiting session with a young applicant and the parents when #2 woke mommy out of a sound sleep at 4:00 a.m. with back cramps! I took my bath (sheeesh, I even shaved my legs! got my clothes together and drove myself to the hospital). When the nurses said "you're dilating and you're not going home" I called daddy and said, "We're having a baby today!" he canceled his work day. Much easier done on land and out in the boonies than on a very busy ship even in port.
Birthdays came and went, anniversaries come and gone and finally some time around 1995 when the kids were 5 and 6 years old, daddy moved away to Long Beach, California courtesy of U.S. Navy transfer papers. We were living in rural Montana. I stayed behind with the kids in the home we owned and shared my life with other single wives and kids. And believe me, there were quite a few of us. I was a stay-at-home mom and so were my closest friends. We were all the kids had left. So we had dinners at each others' homes, we went on picnics and hikes and celebrated the kids' birthdays the best way we knew how. I remember the Christmas of '95 and the wonders of technology. Our neighbors Terry and Jeannie had loaned us a telephone with speaker capabilities! We would now be able to share our Christmas with daddy long distance! Daddy was able to hear the rustling of ripped papers and the squeals of the kids as they opened their presents and we all were able to share our excitement and via telephone. At least we had that.
That was just one segment of the years of learning that have finally brought me to the place I am now.
The other day my daughter called and wished me happy Mothers Day. It wasn't THE day and she spoke of feeling guilty about not sending a card and that she had been waiting for "a present to come and it wasn't here yet and mom I feel bad". My words to her? "Why on earth would you feel guilty? I get you and the grandsons next weekend! It doesn't matter that it isn't on THE DAY". Besides, I had to work on Mothers Day so I would have been a little sad if they were in the area and I couldn't share that day ON THE DAY that is marked on the calendar. These times make the times I do get to share moments so much more precious.
In my life I have some great mommies I include in my Mommy Circle:
My wonderful mother-in-law Dorothy, my beautiful daughter Sara/mommy of two fabulous boys, my spiritual girlfriend Gracie who is so like me she's the sister I sat next to on the Bus Bench in heaven, my sister-in-law Rhett who I touched base with after a long long lost time and she was my maid of honor and my stepmother Fran who was the only real grandmother my kids ever knew and took over being my friend and mother and Debbie/mother of 5 who was my single wife girlfriend when our husbands were working elsewhere.
These are the people who share my heart and love and I love them. No matter what day it is.

Mileposts and Fenceposts Along the Way

Another round trip to Montana under my belt and I am hoping it is my last time for this kind of trip.

This visit was mainly about seeing my son while his is in the Connections Corrections program. A place that is his last hope, his last chance to make it good out when they let him out.

It is daunting to look at the car and know that for the next 10 or so hours I will be sitting in the front seat. I can almost visualize every section of the landscape after three times.

My favorite place isn't anything fantastic or grandiose by any means, but there is just something that is pristine and quiet and calm about my little canyon.

This canyon is rather narrow, just wide enough for the two lane road that winds through with a little extra on one side for a narrow creek lined with willows and poplars. The highway cuts through barren rolling hills that are covered in bright green velvet grasses that wave with the breeze. Patches of bright yellow heart leaf arnica and wild sunflowers interspersed with purple and white lupine dot the sides, they cling tenaciously among some of the barren and rocky spots. I have stopped the car on the side of the road just to get out and listen to the wind brush through. It brings back great memories of living in the hills in Idaho. I can smell the dew-drenched sagebrush now...

The rest of the trip is varied; driving along the Columbia River has it's own beauty as well. Cutting through the rolling green hills (in April) with a few steep, drop off cliffs on the driving side, you can look across and watch the tugs straining to push their barges east and west and when you get to the dam the spray can sometimes get blown across the highway. The rolling hills on the far side are dotted with snow white wind turbines. The first time I saw them I thought they were actually kind of ugly, but now I think they're beautiful in their own way. And this trip I had a real surprise! Coming down into "my little canyon" I happened to look up and zipping over the top rise was a bright yellow crop duster! He was quick on his turnaround, almost too quick before I could fumble my camera out of my purse and snap a shot of it retreating...

Other than going through flats and plains and finally hitting some pine trees around Spokane, the trip is beautiful and quiet. I measure the miles in minutes and speed. Many times you can set your cruise button at 80 or even 85 but when you get to the curves it's best to slow down a bit. I have noticed that there are a lot of car and semi truck drivers who don't seem to know where the dotted line is and they want MY lane. I have also discovered that I can finish off one bag of sunflower seeds per direction, they seem to make the time go by faster.

The visit with my son went very well, I didn't have to see him in jail clothes or try to talk through a glass partition. We were able to sit next to each other in a nice dining room area. In- state visitors get one visit per weekend but since I had come from so far (over 700 miles) I was allowed both Saturday and Sunday visits. Michael looks good, clean and healthy. He is getting counseling. And as a mother, I am praying that this will all work. I had to go; for love and support and because he is my son. Nobody should have no one.

The Bare Naked Snowman

Sometimes I feel like I am going through a drought about things to write and sometimes my ideas do not coincide with my opportunities for writing. But it seems I always have something to say after the grandkids have visited. I wrote on my Facebook page today asking if anyone knew what it was like to live through a tornado sucking all the wind and energy out of your house. I sort of liken it to the moment the grandkids and mommy and daddy walk out the front door to go back home.

Sudden.

Instant.

Quiet.

And I'm not sure why it is particularly noticeable this time. It is possible that I am noticing the changes every time I see them now. Herewith comes the Bare Naked Snowman story...

It was snowing to beat the band, and finally after a winter of blah snowfall; we were getting cotton ball flakes, big beautiful ones! The weather for the last two weeks had been in the high 40's to high 60's with one 70 degree day thrown in for a spring tease. Great weather, unusual weather for the high desert here. But predictably unpredictable. And of course, the two days that The BoyZ were here it was just the unpredictable part that played out. But that's okay. They don't get snow in Corvallis, or at least not snow you can play in. As it snowed and built up quite a layer on the deck, Grandpa "Kpaw" shrugged into his winter coat, plopped on his camo fedora and went out to shovel. Evan and Eric are just the right size to fit in the living room window and watch the show, so as they stood on the window sill (mind you this is only 6 or 7 inches from the floor) Kpaw promptly tossed a load of snow at the window. Ear piercing squeals and belly giggles ensued. When he was done shoveling, Kpaw set the snow shovel down against the front of the house and began to round out a snow ball. He set the palm-sized ball upon the railing of the deck and fashioned another snow ball just a hair smaller than the first and set that atop the bottom ball. Another ball took shape even smaller than the second and that one was placed on top of the middle ball. Grandpa rubbed his hands together and came inside saying, "Look guys, Kpaw made a snowman for you!" And then a quiet little voice pitched, "Kpaw, it doesn't have any eyes." So Kpaw found some sunflower seeds and went back outside to give the little bare naked snowman some eyes. Back into the house to take off his coat and hat, Kpaw heard this, "Kpaw, it doesn't have a nose or a mouth." And then we heard the scream! "Kpaw! Kpaw! The birdths are eating the snomans' eyes! The birdths are eating it's eyes!" Kpaw threw open the front door and shooed all the birds away so he could save the poor tiny almost-bare-naked-mutilated snowman from further decimation and destruction.

Once again Kpaw found a sunflower seed for a nose and took a permanent marker out to draw a mouth for the not-so-bare-naked snowman. Kpaw was satisfied with the dressed out snowman. Inside the door and taking off his hat and coat, Kpaw heard the little voice once more. "Kpaw, it doesn't have any armth" and that's when Kpaw concluded, "That's okay because he tucked them all inside to stay warm!"

Over the hill

I took off Saturday morning and went over the snow mountain to see Sara and the grandboyz, daddy Bret had to work this weekend. I can't believe how much Evan is talking since we saw them at Christmas! "My mouth likes jelly, Beema" was the latest.
Shortly after I arrived at Sara's and dropped all my baggage, mommy and daddy went out for a few hours alone while I watched Evan and Eric. We had so muchfun! Evan and Eric have these air blast dart guns and we spent an hour shooting the front door and and the ceiling, they would just squeal and giggle when the suction tip would stick to the ceiling or the door and when it didn't, we all chimed in with "Oh darn!" The energy that these two little boys have is incredible; they are ALWAYS moving something or changing direction, thought processes don't even get completed before something else occurs to them. Ahhh youth. And so when one grownup is worn out and tired, think of...food! "Hey, are you guys hungry?" "YESSSS! Peanut butter and jelly! Peanut butter and honey for Ewick and peanut butter and jelly for me. My mouth likes jelly, Beema". Grandma made it through lunch when mommy and daddy came home so they could get the boyZ ready for a nap.

We had a great visit and Sara and me were able to get in some shopping trips. I hate clothes shopping and will only go when I absolutely have to. It's just no fun to go by yourself. Besides, Sara has such a fashion sense, it's a good thing my personal dressing assistant is my daughter because I wouldn't be able to afford her. She picks outfits for me and is completely honest about how they look and work for me. I see fashion disasters at the store everyday and wonder, "Don't these women look in a mirror before they go out the door???"

Saturday night after the Evan and Eric went to bed (Evan got to sleep in mommy and daddys'

bed because of my visit even though I offered to sleep on the couch), Sara and I opened a bottle of wine, two boxes of Valentine chocolates and some other various nibbles and began to watch "Julia and Julie". It was nice to rest and relax, the both of us. Somewhere in the middle of the movie, we hear this, "Mommie, come in and watch with me". Yes, it was Evanfromheaven's little voice. He had been awake all this time waiting for mommie to come in and be with him. Mommie invited Evan to come out and be with us and so he wriggled inbetween the both of us with Teddy his bear and shared some snacks with us.

Life is good.

Milestones

There are moments in grandparenting that stand out at certain times. Some will make you laugh and giggle and some will make you cry, but most of all, they will make you want to record them for the future to be retold many times over.
Two days ago I had my first real conversation with my oldest grandson, Evan. At 3 he's pretty good at getting a point across to you, it may be simple, but one can converse rather well. So mommy Sara calls me about once a week and fills me in on the dailies of The Boyz, life, thoughts, etc., etc. This week she was describing her pottery class and the potters' wheel; how she took right to it and really enjoyed it.
Shortly after we were engaged in our phone call, Sara asked the boys if they wanted to talk to "Beema"--this is my official name, tagged onto me about six months ago when Evan decided that was who I was going to be. No ands, ifs or buts about that one. It could be worse, the other grandma got "Ta Ta".
As Evan got on the phone he was telling me about his day; what he had for lunch (a burrito), maybe what he was watching on tv. I asked him if he liked his burrito and he said "Yeah", but mommy had a different story. Oh well, the important thing was we were bonding. The next piece of information was priceless: clear and precise, Evan says, "Eric had a good poop." Now, in the world of news this may not be front page information but in the world of a 2 and 3 year old, it's pretty monumental and quite newsworthy when you're chatting with a grandma. They understand the importance of these things.
You have to realize at moments like this that their world is relatively safe and wonderful after all.